Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé
Satirical Onion piece mocking the perceived worthlessness of a Communications degree by inverting reality: an HR director treats a thoroughly unremarkable graduate as a once-in-a-generation hire, calling him repeatedly and ultimately offering the job without an interview. ---
Key Concepts
| Concept | Definition |
|---|---|
| Satirical inversion | The Onion's core device here — treating completely ordinary credentials (BA in Communications, Microsoft Office experience, college newspaper) as jaw-dropping qualifications |
| Credential inflation anxiety | The joke targets widespread cultural skepticism about liberal arts degrees and the difficult entry-level job market |
| Desperation signaling | The escalating voicemails parody employer overcorrection, mirroring the desperation more typically associated with job seekers |
Notes
The "Exceptional" Candidate
- Cory Wilhelm holds a B.A. in Communications from the University of Washington
- Graduated in exactly 4 years — presented as remarkable
- Age 22 at time of application
- Listed skills: Word, Excel, PowerPoint
- Experience: 2 years at college newspaper
- Bonus credential: 4 years of high school Spanish
HR Director's Response
- Robert Bradshaw, HR Director at Brink and Tiller (Seattle-area consulting firm), immediately fast-tracked the application
- Escalated directly to the CEO upon first viewing the résumé
- Described Wilhelm as someone the company "really going to have to move fast to get"
The Voicemail Escalation (Parody of Desperate Outreach)
- Call 1: Formal introduction, requests interview "as soon as possible"
- Call 2: Follow-up check-in on whether first message was received
- Call 3: Offers to accommodate same-day interview, provides personal cell number, offers to stay until 10 or 11 PM
- Final call: Abandons interview process entirely — **offers job on the spot**, apologizes for the "protocol" of requesting an interview, confirms an office has already been set up
Actionable Takeaways
- N/A — this is satire; no actionable career or business advice is intended or present
Quotes Worth Keeping
This kid's only 22 but according to his resume he already has experience in Word, Excel, and PowerPoint — we're really going to have to move fast to get this guy.
Forget about the interview — you're hired. I hope I didn't offend you with that trying to bring you in here stuff. That's just protocol. You're clearly a special case.